‘When I found you …’
In my work, I make SharePoint sites. But I’m a self-taught developer, so things break once in a while.
When something does break, I work really hard to resolve the issue. And after I’ve fixed it, the user invariably thanks me. I want to say “You’re welcome,” but that is not enough; I feel weird accepting thanks for solving a problem that I caused. So my standard reply is: “It’s always my pleasure to fix what I broke, or designed poorly to begin with.”
In Christianity, there is this notion that God finds people in a miserable condition — depraved and doomed — and then cures and pardons them. That is the connotation of Colossians 2:13: “And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses … .”
I call that verse the “when I found you” verse because it always makes me think of the scene from The Princess Bride (1987) where Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) is dressing down his two hired thugs. To Inigo (Mandy Patinkin), he says, “When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy brandy!”
It is ludicrous to frame the god of Christianity — the all-knowing, all-powerful creator of everything — as making his initial acquaintance with a person only after that person has sunk to a point of utter depravity all on his or her own. The Christian God doesn’t find people in a sinful and helpless state; he puts them there! He is like me in my tech support role: the problem’s creator as well as its solver.